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Post by Black Cat on Apr 18, 2008 14:18:52 GMT -5
While they clean the stage of the water that came from the tears of joy of the precedent winners, there’s another commercial break in which the newest popular personnality of MTV (the precedent one lost his popularity during the last presentation) presents the number one position in the Top 5. The most popular song in Magnamund last year has been posted by Hearthheld, RisingPhoenix and Black Cat. That song is The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate destiny!BC: We are back! Now, normaly, I was supposed to present you the last category of the night. However, two guys came to me and asked if they could make a special presentation. Seeing that they had a nice trophy and a lot of cash, I agreed. However, I forgot to ask their name... I think that they are twins... So, please welcome... errr... dude number 1 and dude number 2! ApplauseDude#1 (with the voice of Tyrenis): Good evening everyone! It’s a great pleasure to be here tonight with all of you, isn’t it, my dear Zipp? Dude#2 (with the voice of Zipp): Yes, indeed. It’s fun to see many people here. #1 (with the voice of Agrarvyn): But there’s too many good guys! I need to kill some of them! #2 (with the voice of Hazelea): Good idea! I’ll help you! #1 (with the voice of North Star): And I’ll try to stop you all! #2 (with the voice of Cloe): It could make a good tournament... #1 (Tyrenis): Ahem... we are here to present the Tyrenis Memorial Award. #2 (Zipp): Yes... This special prize was created by Tyrenis to reward a member that displays good will in his actions in this community. #1 (Agrarvyn): I think that’s a very silly reason... #2 (Haz): I think so too. #1 (NS): Can you stop interrupting them, please? #2 (Cloe): Why? I think it’s fun. #1 (NS): Well, not me. So, stop it or I’ll punish you all. #1 (Agrarvyn): I’ll kill you before you punish me. #1 (NS): Okay, that’s it, that’s enough. I’ll punish you! Dude #1 starts to punch himself in the stomach with his right fist while the left one punches his face.#2 (Zipp): Please! Stop! We have a prize to hand out. #2 (Cloe): Woah! A cat! Dude #2 starts to run in circle on the stage while meowing and yelping at the same time.#1 (Tyrenis, between two punches): Please stop! #2 (Haz, between a meow and a yelp): No! Keep going! Now that’s what I call a good show! Come on the dog! Catch that cat! Suddenly, two guys dressed in white jump on the stage. Each of them catch one of the presenters and put strait-jackets on them. A third guy dressed in white gets to the microphone.3rd guy dressed in white: It’s okay everyone. These guys have escaped from the psychiatric hospital of Varetta a few days ago. Your lifes are now safe. Have a nice evening. The man walks off the stage along with his patients. But then, we hear voices coming from the backstage.BC: Go back on the stage right now! 3rd guy: But... my job is done! BC: And I say that you still need to do one thing! Hand out the trophy and I’ll let you go... or otherwise you will wish that I was wearing a strait-jacket! 3rd guy: Errr... okay, okay...The guy comes back on the stage.3rd guy: Errr... The Tyrenis Memorial Award for good will is going to be awarded to a member that keeps a close eye on a lot of things in this community. Some people might not always agree with him, but we all know that it is done because he cares for the success of the Tower of the Sun. So... errr... please, congratulate the winner of the Tyrenis Memorial Award, Ghostbear! Applause
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Post by Black Cat on Apr 18, 2008 14:22:28 GMT -5
After the speech of Ghost Bear, Black Cat announces that he and Shadow Crow have created a group of bards called SC/BC and that they want to play one of their songs: Highway to Teph. After the musical interpretation, that no doubt will become a classic, the ceremony resumes.
BC: Wow, did you liked that, people? Well, you can now bring this song home with a new creation, the chanting disc, or CD. This magical stone reacts to light and will sing our song as long as you wish! You can buy a CD (and the box that goes with) at the entrance of the Halls. Thank you... And now, for the last award of the evening, I would like every presenters to join me on the stage.
Crowd applause while all the presenters of the evening comes on the stage.
BC: Well, for the last award (sweeps the mud in his face that came from the two battling girlfriends of Hawkeye), it makes sense that every presenters have to present that prize with me (Winterhawk! Come back on the stage and stop beheading people selling my CD: they are not spammers!). The last award of the night goes to the Member of the Year at the Tower of the Sun (Give a punch to both Orson and Malphis that were working on a new way to fix the results of the CAThy Awards). That member deserves it well (Zipp! Stop watching the Slavemaster getting whacked by the dinosaur!); he litterally created this place and he keeps an eye on it (Stop fighting yourselves, dude #1 and dude #2!) even if he is currently away because of real life issues (Pushes Simey away who was rubbing himself on him). This is with great pleasure...
A dark cloud comes over the stage.
Naar: You don't say. BC: Didn't I kicked you out of here a few awards ago? N: I don't think that's possible. BC: And me, I say it is! N: YOU? How do people usually respond to that?
Black Cat takes out a vaccuum and sucks the dark cloud with it.
BC: Good riddance... Now, as I was about to say (Hey, the two beavers: stop watching porn on your low-quality cell phones!) the winner for the CAThy of the Member of the Year goes to... Jaqmin!
Applause
BC: Toothillman! Stop shooting in the air: Lone Wolf just lost consciousness! Shoot John Grant instead!
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Post by Black Cat on Apr 18, 2008 14:23:56 GMT -5
After the last speech, Black Cat walks again on the stage.
BC: Well, that’s it everyone. That was the CAThy Awards for this year. I hope that you have enjoyed it. But before we go, I would like to present some Honorable Mentions to some members: Rising Phoenix, for coming out of nowhere and accepting to work on the Rising Sun; FallingPhoenix, for playing as a great evil character in the West Watch; Raker and Nighthunter, for always trying to help the others; Agrarvyn, for your comments that are made either to make us think, laugh or teach us something; Orson, for reminding us every week to buy a ticket for the Lottery; and finally Hawkeye and Al, for trying to help the newbies. All of them will receive a small donation from me.
Well, this is it folks. The fun will keep on going at the open-castle party at the Royal Castle of King Kian. For those watching us on TV, don’t forget to watch Survivor: Danarg next week on PlayCat Channel. Goodnight everyone! And for those going to the Royal Castle, I’ll see you there!
Black Cat walks off the stage as the end credits rolls.
THE END...?
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Post by Black Cat on Apr 18, 2008 14:29:59 GMT -5
At the Royal castle
Most of the people in the crowd are having fun: Theelor and Ron are text messaging each other although they stand beside each other; Toothillman keeps shooting in the air, making many Giak to fall from the rafters; Balgin is still throwing up in the bowl of punch; Nahuris gets strucked by yet another lightning; John Grant follows Slim... errr... Simey all around the place, even in the bathroom; the ostrish that has followed Hawk Eye earlier in the evning is now drinking directly from a keg of Bor Brew; and finally Dharn is still running around the castle, trying to escape the guards. Black Cat thought that it was the right moment: he grabs the microphone and starts to speak.
BC: Can I have your attention please?
The crowd keeps on talking.
BC: Ahem! Your attention please!
The crowd keeps on talking.
BC: SHUT UP!
The crowd keeps on talking.
BC: Free Bor Brew to everyone that will listen to me!
The crowd shuts up and looks at Black Cat.
BC: Thanks! And now, for a special presentation, I would like to invite the oldest participant to this party to come and join me, Lord Gyto!
Applause
Gyto: Yes, is it my turn yet? BC: Your turn for what? G: It’s not? Oh well... I don’t really like this hospital: too much light. It burns by old eyes. BC: You are not in a hospital: you are a the Royal Castle of Sommerlund and I want you to make a special presentation. Remember what we have discussed earlier? G: No, no, that’s fine. I’ll go take a walk. BC: DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE HAVE DISCUSSED EARLIER? G: Oh, it’s you Black Cat? Yes, yes, I remember. BC: THEN GO ON! G: What? Can you talk louder? I have one ear that has a slight difficulty to hear things.
Black Cat writes something on a parchment and hands it to Gyto.
G: Oh, yes. I’m here for my annual check up. But, don’t you think it time for me to make the announcement?
Black Cat just shakes his head in agreement, but he is clearly loosing his temper. However, he hands the microphone to Gyto who takes it.
G: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Black Cat pulls the microphone from Gyto’s ear and shows him how to use it.
G: Oh, I’ll have to repeat everything of what I have just said. Well... I... hate... Black Cat. You... all... suck. I’m... the... worst... loser...
Black Cat shows Gyto that he has to stop moving his hands while speaking, especially the one holding the microphone, as people are losing what he is saying.
G: Oh, right... As I was saying, I think that everyone here hate to lose but you are all winners for Black Cat. You have all participated in the ceremony, and he thanks you all for that because, without people like you, these ceremonies suck. I’m glad to say that Black Cat has witnessed the best (and the worst!) of your characters tonight, so that’s why he doesn’t consider you as losers. For this reason, he has added a special prize. The winner of the Award of Participation for tonight’s ceremony goes to Dharn*.
Applause
*The name of the winner was not written on my document, but I think that I had given this special award to Dharn who had been running around the place trying to avoid guards during the ceremony.
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Post by Black Cat on Apr 18, 2008 14:35:50 GMT -5
The party resumes, Black Cat is now making his way out of the castle, using his Invisibility skills. However, he stumbles over Balgin, lying on the floor, plundged in an ethylic coma. Falling Phoenix sees Black Cat getting up, and walks to him.
Falling Phoenix: Hey, you promised us Bor Brew if we were listening to you. We’ve listened, and now we want our Brew! Agrarvyn: Yeah! Where’s the Brew! Shadow Crow: Come on boss: give us the Brew! Night Hunter: I’m thirsty! Ostrich: BEHR-BEHR! BC: Ahem... the Brew... yeah... errr... Ask Al over there. He’ll give you your free Bor Brew...
The guys are now surrounding Al, and Black Cat takes this moment to escape from the castle. He tries to get his horse in the parking lot, but he discovers that somebody has stole it, even if there was an alarm system on it! Mad, he decides to also steal a ride, so he climbs on Nahuris’ skyrider.
Girls: Hey, who are you? BC: Hem... I’m the Grand Master of the Kai Order. The Guildmaster said it was okay for me to use his skyship to go back to the Monastery. Girls: Did he said anything else? BC: Well... yes! He said that I could also show you the... Quaterstaff that I have in my pants. I know how to handle that weapon! Wink-wink.
When Black Cat recovers, he sees that he is still in the parking lot: he has been kicked out of Nahuris’ skyrider by the guards as soon as he had made the reference to his... errr... Quaterstaff in his pants... With no other choice, he decides to steal Slavemaster’s Lajakeka.
BC: Cool ride! It’s so easy to drive! And I’m so high on the road... Huh? What’s that button? N-I-T-R-O... What the...? There’s only one way to find out...
As Black Cat pushes the button, the Lajakeka’s engines roars and pushes the vehicule forward. But now, it is going so fast that Black Cat loses the handling and crashes into the Halls of Fun. When he gets out of the wreckage, the manager of the Halls is waiting for him.
Manager: Ha, mister Black Cat! Glad to see you! I was hoping that you would come back to pay the bill. BC: The bill? Oh yes, for renting the Hall. M: Well, yes, but also to pay for the damage your guests have done. Here’s the amount you owe me.
Handles the bill.
BC: WHAT!?! But I already gave away all my cash tonight! How am I supposed to repay you? M: Well, then, I can sue you, and it will cost you more than what you are currently owing me... Or you can always fix the things yourself. BC: Okay, fine, I’ll fix the things... Show me the damage... M: Follow me...
Black Cat follows the manager on the stage. The manager finally points at the whole room.
M: There are holes in the ceiling, graffitis on the walls, broken chairs and tables, vomit all over the place, Giak meat on the floor, dried mud on the stage, pegasus dung on the red carpet, a half-eaten human corpse over there, a dead guy fixed to his chair with an arrow, craters in the parking lot, a few shattered windows, Bor Brew spilled all over the bar, drenched tableclooths, a putrid stain between these two tables, and a Lajakeka parked in my office. BC: *Sigh* M (leaving the stage): Oh, and there’s a few toilets that are clogged. Good luck with the mess. I’ll come back tomorrow morning to see if you are done...
Truly, this was a night to remember for Black Cat...
***
The DVD stops there. You take it out and throw it out of the window. You're glad that now you know about the CAThy Awards, but you are also glad that you've missed this ceremony. What a waste of time and money! It's incredible how people are acting in these events!
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Post by Agrarvyn on Apr 18, 2008 14:44:01 GMT -5
Heh. That brings back memories. I am not schizophrenic. And I agree. Me too!
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Post by Black Cat on Apr 18, 2008 15:56:21 GMT -5
That's too bad the main site went down because my own posts were just a part of the whole ceremony. A good part of the fun was coming from what you guys were posting between each award.
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Post by Samildanach on Apr 19, 2008 10:26:48 GMT -5
The Contrivium-based CAThy post may possibly be the best post ever made on TotS, closely followed by the Naar/iGod one. They bring tears of mirth to my eyes.
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Post by Black Cat on Apr 19, 2008 22:27:10 GMT -5
The Contrivium-based CAThy post may possibly be the best post ever made on TotS, closely followed by the Naar/iGod one. They bring tears of mirth to my eyes. Thanks for the comment. Now that the whole TotS main site is down, these are now the best posts ever made on the surrogate forum. Mouwahahah!
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