Remembering the CAThy Awards

[Black Cat]

I was doing a clean up of my old hard drive and I came upon an old Word document: it was the text I wrote for the Second Night of the CAThy Awards way back in... 2006?!?! Man, that was nearly 8 years ago...

For those that weren't around at that time, some of the members of this forum were members of the Tower of the Sun, a fan-base community about the world of Lone Wolf. This website had very strong RPG elements included in its forums: the more you were participating, the more you were gaining "in-game" money to buy stuff in shops to equip the avatar/character you used to navigate in the forums. It was as if you were always "in-character" when talking with other members of the community, even when talking about RL things. We had classes, ranks, coats of arms, signature banners to add to these RPG elements.

Sadly, a few years ago, the site disappeared after an error occured in the site's code. The owner of the TotS then just decided to move on to something else while some members moved here in hope that a new Tower would rise.

So, what are the CAThy Awards you might ask? Well, as I said earlier, we had strong RPG elements in the forums. I was personnally one of the richiest characters of the site and had a few millions of virtual gold coins (g¢) to spend. I decided to create a thread were I would give awards to members that I thought deserved them for different reasons (you'll see if you read the rest of the thread). The awards were 1,000,000 g¢ prizes called the CAThy Awards (the name comes from my character, Black CAT, and the name Cathy because it sounds sexy ). However, I wasn't handing prizes in a boring way: it was like a real award ceremony like we see on TV, with special guests, awkward moments and even commercials. I was making a post once a day, giving the opportunity to other members to participate in their own way like by joking on what they saw, thanking the crowd if they win a prize or describe what they were doing while things were happening on the stage. I did the CAThy Awrds once a year for three years.

This is one of the fondiest memories I have from the old TotS site. So I was thrilled when I dicovered that I had still one of the Word document I used for one of these ceremonies. Since the old forum is gone forever, at least I can preserve one of those funny threads by posting it here.

As you read, you might not get all the inside jokes since it was written eight years ago and things have changed over the years. Some jokes made references to events and characters that are now long gone, but I'm sure some of the oldest members here might remember a thing or two. I will add a short comment after each post to explain what you've just read to help you understand a little bit better.

[Black Cat]

Sunday night. Another boring Sunday night. On one channel, there’s the season finale of a new reality show, "Natural Selection", in which the ugliest person in Magnamund will be elected and, eventually, murdered just so that he can’t reproduce himself, protecting mankind of getting uglier. On another channel, it’s the beginning of the new season of the popular cartoon "The Samsons". You end up on Magnamund Television (MTV), because you know that its owner, Black Cat, can produce shows that will certainly entertain you. Normaly, on Sundays, it’s that show with that chick getting lai... But, wait a minute... It’s a special broadcast!

Host: Live, from Holmgard’s Hall of Fun on Meadowood Boulevard, here’s the Second Night of the CAThy Awards!

Woohoo! The CAThy Awards! Last year, you did loved watching it. Expectations are higher this year. Will this year’s event be as good as last year? The guy who wrote this thing is surely under pressure...

Host: Hello everyone, and welcome on the red carpet of the CAThy Awards. Many guests have already past by us in the last few minutes. You have missed Gnaag, wearing multiple sunglasses just as a superstar fly would wear; you have also missed Qinifer, passing by while holding the arm of... Viveka?!? Hum, if we see John Grant, we will ask him about this... Oh, and here’s former Guildmaster Sekhemty, arriving aboard a streched skyrider. We do hope that he parks his skyship correctly in the parking lot, because I saw that Slavemaster’s Lajakeka had a ticket stuck under the front door because it was taking two parking spots.

Ah, here’s Hawkeye, arriving with his lovely wife, Miss Magnamund MS 5102, Lady Alyss, who is still wearing her chainmail bikini of last year. We do hope that she takes it off sometimes to wash it: it looks that it is starting to rust... If you were here last year, you surely remember how the crowd had welcomed the Grand Master. For those that don’t remember, here’s some footage of last year’s red carpet.

*Flashback*
Background franctic screaming from throngs of teenage girls and females of all creatures, "Hawky! Hawky! Hawky!"
Crowd: Ooohhhh, arrghhhhhhh, eeeeeeeeekkkkk! Hawkeye! It's hims, aoh my, he's handsome, look at those muscles, that nice tight behind, that captivating devilish smile... oohhhh, I'm gonna faint!

*Present*
Host: Well, this year, the welcome is quite different. Let’s listen.

Crowd: Arghhhhh! You son of a b****! Grrrrrrrrrrr! You were supposed to marry me, not that stupid hag! Boooooooooooo! You’re just a bastard, Hawkeye! I will kill her before killing you!

Host: As you can see, Hawkeye did made quite a few enemies during the past year with his wedding. But let’s forget about these useless things and let’s meet one of tonight’s guest, Master Balgin. How do you do, Balgin?
Balgin: *BURP!* I’m mad!
Host: Errr... why?
B: Because *BURP!* they didn’t want me to bring my own alcohol inside! Me and my dwarven friends won’t drink anything else than our *BURP!* Borese Bor Brew, and they are only selling that freaking rip-off brew from Black Cat Breweries inside this Hall! So I drank all the brew I had brought *HIPS!* with me outside so that I won’t need to drink once I’m inside. It’s all the fault of Bhanar! I hate Bhanar and all the thinks coming from there.
H: How many bottles did you had with you?
B: Who’s talking of bottles? I had kegs... 10 kegs! *BURP!* And I drank all of them... I’m starting to feel dizzy...
H: Do you expect to win a prize tonight?
B:... I want to kiss you...
H: WHAT?
B: Oh, you’re human... I thought that you were a female dwarf... It’s your beard that mislead me...
H: Well, any other comments you want to say?
B: ... I think that *HIPS!* I’m going to throw up...
H: Enjoy your evening then! Well, the show will start right after these messages.

***
2014 comment: Back then, we had fun at poking each other. The dwarves and the Kai were somewhat at "war" over Bor Brew: as the leader of the Kai, I had started promoting the "Borweiser", a Bor Brew made by Kai monks. Of course, dwarves thought that Bor Brew was a copyrighted term that designed the beer made only in Bor by dwarves. Everytime we had a chance of making fun of each other over that subject, we took the opportunity to do it. As for Hawk Eye and Alyss, they were two characters that got "married" in the West Watch, the section of the forums were we would post the story of our characters (just like here). As for the "I want to kiss you" joke, it's a direct reference to Joe Namath's infamous interview where he was drunk: link

[Black Cat]

Off-screen voice: The CAThy Awards, brought to you by:

The Drunk Store, for all the alcohol your party needs, come to the Drunk Store!

And by

General Magics. For a limited time, get a 1.9% financing when you buy a brand new MS 5103 Skyrider at your local GM dealer.

And now, here’s your host, Supreme Master Black Cat!

Applause

BlackCat: Good evening ladies, gentlemen, dwarves, giaks, Darklords, Shianti, animal tribes, Xagash, Kloons, Elder Magi, Kundi and all the other kinds of living things that are with us tonight! It is with a great pleasure that I welcome you to this Second Night of the CAThy Awards.

Applause

BC: Thank you! Many things have happened during the last year that had an impact on us or on the Tower of the Sun’s community. Some of these events were sad; others were happy moments while some made us think about different aspects of life in general. Tonight, I will reward some of you for different things you do or that you already did for this wonderful community. So, without delay, here’s our first presenters, Miss Magnamund MS 5103, Lady Alyss, and Mister Magnamund MS 5103, Grand Master Hawkeye!

Some people applause, but most men are booing Hawkeye for having the chance of being married to Alyss, while most women are booing Alyss for having the chance of being married to Hawkeye.

Hawkeye: Wow... Errrr... I don’t know what to say...
Alyss: Me too... It’s, like, uh... It hurts to be booed like that...
HE: Yeah... So, we will get over this fast. We are here to present the...

But Hawkeye is interrupted by a woman jumping on the stage.

Woman: There you are, Dacre! What are you doing here? Who’s that plentiful woman with you?
HE: Oh crap... Oh, hi Carmen! (Lowering his voice, he speaks to Alyss) That’s the crazy woman that thinks that I love her that I have told you about before. Please, let me handles this...
Carmen: What the...?!? What kind of clothes are you wearing? And who’s that half-naked girl beside you?
HE: Ho, the clothes... Yeah, errr, it’s a disguise... Yeah, I’m dressed as a Kai monk; I’ll explain that to you later. Now, go and wait for me in the car...
C: But who’s that girl?
HE: (Lower) That’s the girl I told you about. Poor her, she’s crazy: she thinks that I’m married to her, so I act like as if it was true, to avoid vexing her. (Higher) So, yes, I have to go to the dentist next week, thanks for reminding me that. Now please, we have a ceremony in progress here...
A: Hey! Now I remember you! I saw a picture of you in Hawkeye’s private photo album! Hawkie, what are you doing with a picture of a crazy girl?
C: WHO ARE YOU CALLING CRAZY, YOU WHO ARE WEARING A BIKINI AT AN AWARD CEREMONY?
HE: Please, ladies, can we...
Both girls: OH YOU SHUDDAP!
C: (Pointing at Alyss) AND YOU, I’LL KICK YOUR BUTT!
A: BRING IT ON!

Both girls start fighting. For no apparent reason, a pool of mud appears from the floor of the stage, and the two girls fall into it while they keep on fighting. Boys in the crowd are yelling madly in front of this show, while women are booing against this entertainment of bad taste. Poor Hawkeye stays in front of the microphone, not knowing what to say...

HE: Ahem... I will now present the CAThy for the funniest joke of the year. Uh... (From the pool of mud: “You bitc*!”) This year’s winner did not made a joke per say, but... errrr... he offered us some great links to websites offering fun to all of the members of TotS. (A big chunk of mud hits Hawkeye in the face). Yurk... The winner is Samildanach for offering us great laughs with the links to the Mechanical Contrivium and to the story of the Ebay moron getting his due (From the pool of mud: “Ahah! Your bikini is rusting!”).

Applause

***
2014 comment: As you might have guessed, this was a joke about Hawk Eye having a RL girlfriend and a virtual one in TotS. The chainmail bikini joke was famous back then at TotS. I don't exactly remember how it started, but I remember that it went as far as being an item that we could purchase with our g¢ in the virtual shop of the site. As for the winner, Samildanach, he was posting several links to funny website that made most of us laugh. I can't find the link of the Ebay moron story that he posted, but I know the Mechanical Contrivium site still exists. I'll explain what it is later.

[Black Cat]

The show is good: you go get some beer and pizza and when you come back, it’s a musical prestation by the Falling Stones. Their singer, Dick Dagger, is very good, especially when singing the song ''His Fanfiction'' that you keep singing in your head:

John Grant wro-ote his fanfiction,
Read it and got no satisfaction,
But I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried
John Grant wro-ote, John Grant wro-ote!

John Grant wro-ote. Oh no, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey!
That’s what he says
John Grant wro-ote his fanfiction,
Read it and got no satisfaction*

Anyways, back to the show...

Osv: Ladies and gentlemen, here’s Zipp!

Applause

...

Osv: Errr... here’s Zipp!


Applause

...

Osv: Where’s Zipp?

Suddenly, a giant female cat jumps on the stage. She has a yellow towel wrapped around herself.

Zipp: Sorry, sorry, I’m late. I was in the shower with Tyrenis doing... Wait a minute, that’s none of your business what I’m doing with Tyrenis in the shower! Okay, so I’m here to present the CAThy for the Best Character in the West Watch. This member played his character very well in the West Watch. He showed us that even an evil guy can have good feelings. Please, let’s give a hand to the winner of the CAThy for the Best West Watch Character, the Slavemaster!

Applause, but Slavey doesn’t appear to be there.

Zipp: The Slavemaster isn’t with us tonight. I already told him that he was going to win the prize, but I also told him that getting on the stage to get his trophy was too easy. And so, he agreed to add more challenge to this. We will now join Slavemaster live from... somewhere! Good evening, Slavemaster.

The camera shows a Cener in what seems to be a swamp... or an evil forest or something... It might as well be the middle of the Danarg or a bayou near New Orleans. The Cener is sitting on the grass, beside a small fire, in a fetal position, and he keeps repeating: “I want to go home... I want to go home...”

Zipp: Hey, Slavey, we are live on TV!
Slavey: I JUST WANT TO GO HOME! I CAN’T STAND IT ANYMORE!
Zipp: Calm down. You have agreed to participate to this fighting tournament, so you can’t quit when you are so close of winning.
S: BUT THERE’S NOBODY TO FIGHT! YOU TOLD ME THAT I WAS GOING TO FIGHT SOMEONE HERE, BUT THERE’S NO ONE! I WANT TO GO HOME!
Z: Just fight your enemy and you’ll be able to go home after that.
S: Promise?
Z: Yeah, promise.
S: So, who do I have to fight?
Z: It’s easy. I’m even going to tell you how to win.
S: Go on...
Z: Well, in two minutes, a carnivorous dinosaur, with teeth that are sharped like bayonets, will attack you. To win, you must first throw ten rocks on his head, for which you will be rewarded with a wooden stick. Using that stick, you must hit the dinosaur twenty other times on his head. Once it’s done, you must answer correctly the riddle which will give you a sword that you will use to kill the dinosaur by hitting him fifty times. All that while avoiding the flames he will be spitting every 6/10 of a second, of course. Once you win, you will get your trophy.
Dinosaur: BLAAAAAAARGH! SWOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH!
Z: Oh, there he is. Good luck, Slavey.
S: I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your phone rings just as the dinosaur is about to roast the Slavemaster. The conversation that follows on the phone makes you miss the rest of the combat: it’s hard to keep screaming “WAAASSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!” while watching TV. It’s okay though: the combat will be showed again next week in the new PlayCat’s reality show, "Survivor: Danarg".

*If this song sounds like "Satisfaction" from the Rolling Stones, that’s just a coincidence. For real. Now, go back up the post and continue reading. No more to see here. Really. You are wasting your time down here. I could talk to you about how the Bor Brew business is hurting Chai’s economic system if you want, but I don’t want it myself. Come on, why are you still reading this pointless text? That’s it, I’m not writing anything else, except maybe these little dots...

...

...

...


***

2014 comment: I must admit that I had to tweak the original lyrics of the song at the beginning of the post since I am better (I think!) in English than back in 2006. Re-reading the lyrics made me realize that it was not good English, so I modified them to make them better. As for the characters, The Slavemater wasn't the one we got to know in the gamebooks but rather a Cener Druid created as an avatar for a member of the community. Remember that the in-character events happening at the TotS were taking place around MS 5100, which explains why we got a new Slevmaster. As for Zipp, it was supposed to be a member of a new class in Magnamund, the Animal Tribe, which was created around the same time the original LWRPG was launched (the class is still available for download here: link). The avatar of Zipp was a giant female cat wearing the yellow robe of a Sage of Lyris. Coupled with the fact that the RL Zipp did make mentions of the loooooong showers he was taking wth his girlsfriend (wink, wink) in the forums, it was easy to joke about a Sage of Lyris being late because he was taking a looooong shower with another Sage (wink, wink). As for the fighting/reality show, that comes from the fact that Zipp was making a lot of fighting tournaments between the various characters of the forum which involved heavily described action (yes, it is available for download here: link). It is a pretty good read. Of course, there's a reference to the actual reality show "Survivor" (link) and to the Magnamund version of the Playboy Channel, PlayCat (owned in-character by me ). Finally, let's not forget this classic: link

[Black Cat]

Finally, you hang on the phone, after five minutes of finding different ways of screaming “WAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP!”.

BC: Wow, what a combat it was. You will be able to see this combat and its aftermath next week on "Survivor: Danarg" on PlayCat Channel. Now, please welcome, Prince Graygor of Eru and King Sarnac of Lencia!

Applause

Prince Graygor: Thank you. It is a great pleasure for me to be here tonight with all of you, and with my friend here, King Sarnac.
King Sarnac: Hey, nice show! BUY CIALIS!
PG: ?... What?
KS: Errrr... I mean... Yeah, it’s a pleasure to be with you all.
PG: Well, we are here to present the CAThy for the best fan-made download available at Tower of the Sun.
KS: Wow, nice downloads! BUY VIAGRA!... So yeah, it’s a pleasure to present that prize.
PG: You know Sarnac, there’s something strange with you tonight...
KS: With me? No, not at all. BUY ASPIRIN!
PG: See? What’s the point with all these “Buy something”?
KS: BUY PHENTERMINE!... Errr... Okay, I have something to confess: I’m not King Sarnac... (removes his mask, revealing the face of a nerd) I am Jay Wilson, Professionnal Spammer, and I’m here to spam.
PG: Well… Since you are at it, me too I have something to confess: I’m not Prince Graygor... (retires his mask, revealing the face of Winterhawk) I am Winterhawk, Professionnal Spammer Killer, and I’m here to kill spammers.

With a rapid movement, Winterhawk chops Jay’s head off with his sword, making the crowd to go wild, cheering for the Professional Spammer Killer.

Winterhawk: Thank you. And now, please welcome the winner... No wait, the winners (that’s right, two winners!) of the CAThy for the best fan-made download: Redbeard and Sekhemty, for their Lone Wolf D20 adventure called Ragadorn Nights!

Applause

***
2014 comment: Back at the old TotS, we had a pretty decent download section that had a lot of fan-made material created for the LW universe, including extended boss battles, maps and adventures for the LWRPG. Beowulf did an incredible job to make this fan-made material available again here:link. As for the presenters, and at the time this post was written, TotS had just recovered from several attacks by spammers. These spammers would come on the forum and make pointless comments similar to what King Sarnac/Jay Wilson do. Winterhawk, TotS owner, did a wonderful (and painfully hard) job to change the site's code to prevent these attacks.

[Black Cat]

During the last commercial break, you went to check your emails. After taking five minutes to delete offers from young horny Asian strippers to help you with your diploma while financing your mortgage, the show resumes.

OSV: The CAThy Awards, brought to you by the Mechanical Contrivium: a good fun, a good laugh. Now, please welcome, the Knight of the White Mountain of the Month for the 56th time in a row, Simey!

Applause

Simey: Thank you. I don’t have a lot of time because Hazelea orders me to fight in yet another of her tournaments in the Philippines (1), so I’ll be quick... Darn I want to make a Hazeleaicide (2)... So anyways, I’m here to...

But Simey is interrupted as a man jumps on the stage.

??: THERE YOU ARE!
Simey: Jo... John Grant?!?
John Grant: Yes, that’s me, my dear Slimey!
S: It’s Simey...
JG: Yeah, yeah, who cares... Remember last year’s CHEESy Awards when you jumped on the stage to congratulate me?
S: It was the CAThy Awards, and they threw me out of the building because of that.
JG: Well, well! Here’s a thing you can do for me! My wife, Qinifer, left me.
S: WHAT?
JG: Yeah, sad, isn’t it? She said that I was bringing her bad luck in bed (3).

As John Grant says this, a bird lands on his head and makes its way inside his ear (4).

S: You just have a bird that...
JG: Would you shut up and listen to me? As I was saying, Qinifer left me for Viveka.
S: That marvelous creation left you? She’s not as bright as I thought...
JG: Oh, it’s me who created her, right? And I made her so that she can be the most intelligent creature on Magnamund (5). She’s still very intelligent you know...
S: But I read somewhere that you didn’t create her (6).
JG: All lies... So, anyways, since I’m alone tonight, I’ll stay with you.
S: Oh crap... I knew there was something wrong when I got up this morning (7)... How can I get rid of you?
JG: It’s impossible for you to do so; just read number 8 at the bottom of this post to know why (8)!
S: Gosh! I’m doomed!
JG: Not as doomed as poor Hawkeye with the two ladies still fighting each other.
S: Well, not exactly, because, you see...

Simey mutters something to John Grant.

JG: Oh, how lucky he is, that Hawkeye! And how lucky are these girls (9)!

As the bird gets out of John Grant’s ear, Hawkeye, totally ashamed that many thousands people now know about his secret (and also because he can’t stands sitting beside two girls fighting each other), gets off of his seat to drink some water (10). He is quickly followed by a thirsty ostrich (11).

JG: Anyways, I’ve decided to stay with you because you are the greatest Qiniferologist in the world (12) and that I want to learn some tricks so that I can get the love of my dear creation back.
S: Errr... Can we discuss this after I present this award?
JG: I guess so.
S: Okay, so, as I was saying, I’m here to present the CAThy Award for the best project developped for Tower of the Sun. That member has recently gave us an update on his different projects, since he has been working on them for quite a while now. We already knew that he was going to create something, but not as huge as it seems it will be. So, the CAThy goes to Eternal Valor and what will probably become the Lone Wolf RPG Addition Class Project!

The crowd applause as Eternalvalor makes his way on the stage to receive his trophy from the hands of the biggest (13) and tallest (14) hostess he had ever seen. While Simey rubs himself on him (15), the Kai Lord takes his CAThy Award and tries to stuff it into John Grant’s mouth (16 & 17).



1: The Simey-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Simey-fights take place there every day.
2: Hazeleaicide is the killing of Hazelea.
3: It's bad luck to put John Grant on a bed.
4: Birds do not sleep in John Grant, though they may rest in him from time to time!
5: The porpoise is second to Qinifer as the most intelligent animal on the planet.
6: Scientists believe that Qinifer began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas!
7: If you don't get out of bed on the same side you got in, you will have John Grant for the rest of the day.
8: John Grant can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid.
9: *Just check #1 on this page of the Mechanical Contrivium*
10: Hawk Eye can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time!
11: Ostriches stick their heads in Hawk Eye not to hide but to look for water!
12: Qiniferology is the study of Qinifer.
13: Hostess has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap.
14: Hostess is the world's tallest woman.
15: Simey will often rub up against people to lay his scent and mark his territory!
16: About 100 people choke to death on CAThy Award each year.
17: More people are killed by CAThy Award each year than die in aeroplane accidents!

***

2014 comment: Remember that I mentionned the Mechanical Contrivium before? Well, I created this post using it. The Mechanical Contrivium is a website where you write the name of someone/something and it will give you 10 random facts about it (of course, these are real facts that apply to other things, but when you replace the original object by what you write, it gives another, funnier meaning). Just give it a try here: link. As for Simey, he is one of the rare members that was courageous enough to say that he loved the "Legends of Lone Wolf" novels by John Grant while most people of TotS were voicing their disgust for them. Many people complained that Grant took too many creative liberties when writing the novels, including the addition of Qinifer which is considered to be a Mary Sue (link). As for Hazelea, it was an evil character created by Zipp used in his descriptions of his fighting tournaments. At that time, Zipp was switching between his two characters, as if he had a multiple personnality disorder. Finally, about the winner, I don't think his Lone Wolf RPG Addition Class Project was ever finished.

[Black Cat]

*The following was created using the iGod chat program posted by Nighthunter. This conversation wasn’t edited, except for the names, actions described and typos. All of this is a real conversation that I had with the program.*

After that Eternal Valor has made John Grant turned blue because of the trophy he stucked in his throat (which made him look like a giant Smurf), there’s a commercial break during which one of the most popular personnality of MTV (Magnamund Television) presents you position #5 of the MTV Top 5 Countdown of the most popular video clips in Magnamund in MS 5102. Number 5 on that countdown is “The internet is for p***”, originally posted by Methos. (WARNING: I rate this as PG-13)

After the clip is over, we get back to the ceremony.

BC: Now, ladies and gentlemen and other species, I’m glad to introduce you the one and only Naar!

The Dark Spawn are making a standing ovation while most of the people try to run for their safety as a black cloud hoovers over the stage.

BC: Welcome Naar to the CAThy Awards!
Naar: The Loebner Prize is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
BC: Hey, you are reading the text cards of another ceremony.
N: You've got my full attention. You think I am reading the text cards of another ceremony.
BC: Yes, I think so; pick the good ones now.
N: Really. I think so too. (Looks at the pack of cards on the lecter) Oh. I can't decide. You choose.
BC: (hands the right pack) It's this pack of cards that you need.
N: The Loebner Prize is this pack of cards that me needs? It is?
BC: No, it's the pack for the CAThy Awards that you need.
N: Who says it isn't? I've heard of it before.
BC: (Starting to lose his temper) Glad to know that you've heard of the CAThy Awards before...
N: I am glad to know that me have heard of the CAThy LOEBNER PRIZE too.
BC: It's not the Loebner prize, it's the CAThy Awards!
N: What would be the Loebner prize? I've heard of it before.
BC: I don't care: it's not the Loebner prize, it's the CAThy Awards!
N: What do you care about, that invited you here tonight ?
BC: I didn't invited myself, and what I care about is the success of this ceremony, so just tell us the name of the winner for the most memorable moment of the year as selected by Black Cat.
N: Why didn't you do it? Your purpose is “the most memorable moment of the year as selected by Black Cat”.
BC: Because I thought that having special guests was better than just having me presenting the awards myself.
N: Good reason. I am having a blast.
BC: Let's go on then.
N: That sounds good to me.
BC: Ok, so the winner for this CAThy is...?
N: Blimey. What is that? Hey.
BC: That is just the slave that will give the trophy to the winner.
N: Yes it is one of the slaves that will give the trophy to the winner.
BC: (Getting mad) Tell us the name of the winner, NOW!
N: Oh. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
BC: The winner is somewhere in front of you, in this crowd!
N: Who told you that?
BC: Because I know already who is the winner and that I saw her in the crowd.
N: That makes sense to me. How do you know? When? ALICE won the Loebner Prize.
BC: (alright, he’s REALLY mad now) I DON'T GIVE A F*** ABOUT THE LOEBNER PRIZE, IT'S THE CATHY AWARDS THAT I CARE OF!
N: Tell me what you care about.
BC: I JUST TOLD YOU: IT'S THE CATHY AWARDS!
N: I remember you told me it is “the CAThy Loebner Prize”?
BC: I NEVER SAID THAT!
N: But you implied it.
BC: NOT AT ALL!
N: Next question?
BC: TELL US THE FREAKIN' NAME!
N: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
BC: SHE'S IN FRONT OF YOU!
N: IN FRONT of me is she?
BC: THAT'S WHAT I KEEP REPEATING TO YOU!
N: I know what you mean, that invited you here tonight. I've been there.
BC: WHY, TELL ME WHY I DID INVITED YOU?
N: Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
BC: WHAT DOES "SHRDLHU" MEAN?
N: SHRDLHU is a famous early natural language program written by Terry Winograd.
BC: THEN USE SOMMLENDING LANGUAGE TO SAY: "THE WINNER OF THE CATHY AWARDS FOR THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT OF THE LAST YEAR IS CLOE AND THE CHAT SESSIONS ABOUT SHOWERS AND THE ECHELON PROGRAM"!
N: I think that using Sommlending language to say: “THE WINNER OF THE CATHY AWARDS FOR THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT OF THE LAST YEAR” is a lot of things.
BC: CLOE, COME AND GET YOUR PRIZE WHILE I KICK THIS GUY OUT OF HERE.
N: Who are you talking about?
BC: I'M TALKING OF YOU!
N: I am talking to you.
BC: JUST LEAVE THIS PLACE AND GO BACK TO THE PLANE OF DARKNESS!
N: Bye for now.
BC: YEAH, BYE, AND DON'T EVER COME BACK!
N: Really. Bye bye.
BC: (a little bit calmer, as Naar makes his way outside the stage) Good ridance...
N: (comes back on the stage) Thanks for the compliment. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about “Cloe come and get my prize while you kick this guy out of here”. Try being more or less specific.
BC: *Sigh*
N: Is that your final answer?

***

2014 comment: One of the members posted a link to a website that allows you to chat with a computer. Like it is mentionned at the top of the post, this was the conversation I got when creating this post. As for the Top-5 music video, it was a way for me to reward members that had posted the funniest ones in the forums (we even had a dedicated thread for that!). And if you are wondering, Cloe was the name Zipp used at that time (I know, it's getting complicated as he had 3 different avatars!). But like I said in another post, we had fun discussing his loooong showers in a humerous way, so it was fair that I rewarded him for that.

[Black Cat]

Finally, they decide to go on a commercial break during which they will try to kick Naar out of the theater. Meanwhile, the MTV’s popular personnality presents you position #4 of the MTV Top 5 Countdown: originally posted by Black Cat, here’s Kenya!.

OSV: And now, please welcome, General Bon-Al Ironforge and Toothillman!

Applause

Al: ...

...

Al: ...

...

Al jumps on the shoulders of Toothillman and grabs the microphone.

Al: It’s a great pleasure to be here tonight!

Applause

Al: Thank you! Errr... We won’t be able to stay here for long, since Tooth and I have to bring kegs of Boom Powder back to Bor so that we can fight the rebels. We are right in the middle of a Civil War in Bor, you know.

Toothillman: ...

Al: Uh?

Al switches places with Toothillman who climbs on his shoulders.

T: I said: we are going to shot them with our big guns! Hihihi!

They switch again.

Al: You are right, Tooth. We are going to destroy them!

Out of the crowd comes a voice.

??: NUKE THEM!

Al: Ah, I see that our friends from Bhanar are here tonight. I would like to take this opportunity to tell my Bhanarian friend that we have tried our nuke bombs on his country this morning and that it was a success: Bhanar ceased to exist! Thanks to Balgin who gave us the idea to try our bombs on Bhanar! No more crazy video games or weird cartoon shows!

The crowd applause while Toothillman uses his Bor Guns by shooting in the air while dancing.

Al: TOOTH! STOP DANCING AND SHOOTING IN THE AIR! I’M ON YOUR SHOULDERS!

T: ...
Al: What?

They switch places.

T: Sorry!

They switch places again.

Al: Ok, forget all this now and let’s present the CAThy for the Funniest Member of Tower of the Sun. This member is showing us his humoristic skills week after week. His imagination cannot be compared to anything else, since he finds everytime a new way to introduce us the winner of the weekly lottery of the site. That’s right, the winner of the CAThy for the Funniest Member is Malphis for his weekly lottery announcement!

Applause

***

2014 comment: For those that did not guessed, Toothillman and Al were dwarves, so it was fitting to see them not being able to reach the microphone by themselves. As for the jokes about nuking Bhanar, that comes for a game we were playing online which looked like a United Nations organizations but only with Magnamund countries (sadly, I don't remember the name of that game). Since most countries of Magnamund were based on RL countries, and that Bhanar was compared by Joe Dever himself to the feodal Japan, it made sense to mentions weird TV shows and video games coming from that country. I think it was the ruler of Bhanar (from the online game) who joked about using nuke bombs to take over Magnamund. As for the civil war in Bor, that comes from the West Watch story of that time. Finally, like I mentionned earlier, TotS had a lot of RPG elements to win g¢. We even had a weekly lottery in which winners were picked randomly. Malphis was having a blast each week to present us the winner.

[Black Cat]

After the touching speech by Malphis (who knew an evil guy could have so much feelings?), there’s another commercial break during which the MTV’s popular personality presents you position #3 on the Countdown. Originally posted by Winterhawk, here’s Everyone has had more sex than me!

Black Cat walks on the stage.

BC: Our next guests weren’t supposed to be here tonight, but since they have special ways to make you offers that you can’t refuse, I accepted... I mean, they were granted the right to present an award tonight. So, please welcome, the Evil Lottery Council: Orson and Malphis!

Evil guys applause, while the good guys boo them.

Orson: Wahaha! It’s great to be here tonight! Who knew the Grand Master of the Order could be bought so easily!
Malphis: Yeah, and it didn’t cost us a lot of cash. We will still have a lot of money for next week’s fixed lottery!
O: Indeed my friend, indeed. Let’s not forget the fixed fencing tournament that we hold with the help of Hazelea. Think of all the cash we are making thanks to the bets!
M: Ahah, yes, and the casino, let’s not forget the casino!
O: And the fixed football games! Don’t forget the fixed football games in Italy!
M: Huh? What are you talking about? What’s Italy?
O: Errr... well, you see... Hey, did you found Dusk Fox? He’s still owing us some cash for... you know... the protection for his business...
M: Don’t worry: I bought him two cement boots and asked him to swim while wearing them! That’s why you don’t see him with us tonight.
O: Mal... He’s a Kai Lord: he’s probably using his Animal Control to ask the help of a fish to bring him oxygen and food. There’s a high chance that he is still alive as we speak.
M: Ah... errr... Let’s give the award then and let’s go check what’s happening with him.
O: Right. So we are here to present the CAThy for the Lifetime Achievement. This member did a lot of things for this community, and he is still doing other great things as we speak. Sig bars, HTML coding, RPG items, classes... He is touching to almost everything on this site. A member of the first hour of Tower of the Sun, please, give a hand to Kai Hunter Fallen Angel!

Applause

M: Haha, great! Another award ceremony that we fixed the result so that an evil guy could win!

***

2014 comment: If Malphis was making funny presentation of the weekly winner of the lottery, Orson was the one reminding us to buy our ticket each week! Both characters were bad guys: they were Kai Hunters (like Fallen Angel, the winner of the award), a class created for TotS which was the answer of the Darklords to the Kai Monks. Fallen Angel was still very much involved in this community: he's the one who set up this "temporary" forum when the original TotS disappeared. Sadly, we don't see him very much around here now.

As for what Orson and Malphis were talking about, along with the weekly lottery, there was also a casino and a place to make bets (with our g¢, of course) as RPG elements of TotS. A for the fixed soccer games in Italy, I can't say if it were really these two guys doing it.

[Black Cat]

Another commercial break, another video clip on the Top 5 Countdown. Here’s the 2nd position, the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAn57pU2OL0]Christmas lights[/url], originally posted by SilentStorm. [/i]

OSV: Please welcome Thief Magazine’s thieves of the year: Theelor and Ron! They are with the one and only Lone Wolf!

Crowd applauses as the two thieves and the Kai Lord make their way on the stage. However, people wonder why Ron and Theelor are disguised as beavers...

Theelor: Good evening everyone...
Ron: Yeah! Hi everyone!
Lone Wolf: Banedy! Banedy! Woohoo! Look at me! I’m on the stage once again this year! (sends a kiss in the air) *SMACK* You are my friend Banedy!
T: Ugh... What this guy is doing with us?
R: Don’t know. Maybe it’s like another surprise that the producers made to us, just like these beaver costumes. They gave it to me a few minutes before getting on the stage.
T: Actually, if you had a cell phone like me, you would had received a call this afternoon about those costumes.
LW: Hey, why don’t I have a beaver costume too?
R: Oh? And what’s the use of your cell phone?
T: Well, people can call me at any time, even if I’m in the shower. And I can download more than 300 mp3s that I will probably never listen and I can watch bad quality videos on an equally bad quality screen that is so small that I need a magnifying lens to see what it’s showing. And I can also take pictures of my foot nails.
R: And can you call people?
T: Actually, I never found the option to do that.
LW: Their fur is so soft!
R: Well, anyways, glad to be here tonight with all of you... Hey, you know Theelor, I wonder how many people across Magnamund are watching us right now?
T: Oh, there’s people watching us on the PlayCat channel, the Bor Broadcasting Company (BBC), the Radio Association of Ilion (RAI), Magnamund Television (MTV), the Chai Broadcasting Society (CBS), and, of course, FOX.
R: Wow! I didn’t know that there was so many TV channels in the world!
LW: I want to cuddle that giant beaver...
T: Well, with a satellite dish, you can watch all these channels. However, since it costs a lot of money, you have to work all the time to pay for the channels that you don’t have the time to watch since you are working!

Suddenly, a Knight of the White Mountain jumps on the stage and starts to rub himself against Theelor, and then against Ron, and then against Lone Wolf (1).

LW: Oh, please, stop! Hihi! My friend is looking! Hehe! He’s going to be jealous!

And then, that guy jumps in the crowd and start screaming while rubbing himself on a poor spectator:

KotWM: SAMBA! SAMBA! SAMBA! (2)

And then, he was gone...

T: Ugh! That’s Slimey... I mean... Simey-the-crazy-rubbing-guy! That’s the second year in a row that he interrupts the show. And that was the third time this year that the show is interrupted by someone jumping on the stage. What the security is doing? What do you think Ro... RON!
R: SAMBA! SAMBA! SAMBA! What did you say Theelor?
LW: Oh, please, not you too! I’m really enjoying it but you’ll have to stop: my friend is watching!
T: STOP RUBBING YOURSELF AGAINST THE KAI LORD!
R: Why? Slimey did it, and I thought that it seemed fun.
T: You can’t rub Lone Wolf dressed in your beaver costume while screaming “Samba”! I saw this on the internet while I was uploading the pictures of my foot nails that I took with my cell phone. The uploading went fast, thanks to my high speed connection.
R: But I thought that, just like in the song earlier, the internet was for por...
T: DON’T SAY IT! Please, don’t... Anyways, all that to say that you can only scream “Samba” if you are rubbing yourself against Samildanach.
R: Oh, okay then.
T: GET BACK ON THE STAGE! WE HAVE A CATHY AWARD TO HAND OUT!
R: Okay, okay... So, what is the category?
T: This is the Special Humanitarian CAThy to be handed out to some people that have gone through bad moments during the last year but have also achieved great things together. These two persons have lived a sad moment when they lost their baby. However, it didn’t stop them to enjoy life. One of them has even started school again to get a cool diploma so that she can work in a field that she truly loves.
R: So, who are the winners?
T: Tell us: it’s you that have the envelop containing the names of the winners.
R: Errr... I thought it was you that had it?
T: And I thought that it was you!
LW: Guys, guys! Please, don’t fight! We have just shared a cool moment together, especially with you, my big cuddling beaver... Rowwwwrrrrr!... Anyways, I have the envelop!
T: AH! That was your purpose! So, okay, tell us the names then.
LW: So, the winners of the Special Humanitarian CAThy goes to... (opens the envelop) NAHURIS AND NIGHTRAVEN! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

After the surprise caused by the girly scream of Lone Wolf, Nightraven stands up instead of jumping (3) while Nahuris gets hit by a lightning for the 4th time this hour (4). Together, they go to claim their trophy.

LW: Remember last year when I wet my pants? Well, it happened again...

1: Simey will often rub up against people to lay his scent and mark his territory!
2: The word 'samba' means 'to rub Samildanach'.
3: Nightraven cannot jump.
4: Lightning strikes Nahuris over seven times every hour.

***

2014 comment: Theelor and Ron were two NPC created by Zipp/Hazalea/Cloe in his West Watch story. He also used them to describe his fighting tournaments. As for this version of the character of Lone Wolf, it was based on the fact that several TotS members thought that John Grant made him looked as a coward/useless/whiny character in his novels while Qinifer was the perfect/courageous character that would save the day instead of LW. As for Nightraven and Nahuris, they were a RL couple that each had a character in TotS. Nightraven had a miscarriage that year but she also went back to school after the events. Sadly, I think that they have since broken up IIRC. And if you wondered about the beaver costumes, it was a reference to a commercial campaign by Bell Canada (we were a lot of Canadians on TotS): link

[Black Cat]

While they clean the stage of the water that came from the tears of joy of the precedent winners, there’s another commercial break in which the newest popular personnality of MTV (the precedent one lost his popularity during the last presentation) presents the number one position in the Top 5. The most popular song in Magnamund last year has been posted by Hearthheld, RisingPhoenix and Black Cat. That song is The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate destiny!

BC: We are back! Now, normaly, I was supposed to present you the last category of the night. However, two guys came to me and asked if they could make a special presentation. Seeing that they had a nice trophy and a lot of cash, I agreed. However, I forgot to ask their name... I think that they are twins... So, please welcome... errr... dude number 1 and dude number 2!

Applause

Dude#1 (with the voice of Tyrenis): Good evening everyone! It’s a great pleasure to be here tonight with all of you, isn’t it, my dear Zipp?
Dude#2 (with the voice of Zipp): Yes, indeed. It’s fun to see many people here.
#1 (with the voice of Agrarvyn): But there’s too many good guys! I need to kill some of them!
#2 (with the voice of Hazelea): Good idea! I’ll help you!
#1 (with the voice of North Star): And I’ll try to stop you all!
#2 (with the voice of Cloe): It could make a good tournament...
#1 (Tyrenis): Ahem... we are here to present the Tyrenis Memorial Award.
#2 (Zipp): Yes... This special prize was created by Tyrenis to reward a member that displays good will in his actions in this community.
#1 (Agrarvyn): I think that’s a very silly reason...
#2 (Haz): I think so too.
#1 (NS): Can you stop interrupting them, please?
#2 (Cloe): Why? I think it’s fun.
#1 (NS): Well, not me. So, stop it or I’ll punish you all.
#1 (Agrarvyn): I’ll kill you before you punish me.
#1 (NS): Okay, that’s it, that’s enough. I’ll punish you!

Dude #1 starts to punch himself in the stomach with his right fist while the left one punches his face.

#2 (Zipp): Please! Stop! We have a prize to hand out.
#2 (Cloe): Woah! A cat!

Dude #2 starts to run in circle on the stage while meowing and yelping at the same time.

#1 (Tyrenis, between two punches): Please stop!
#2 (Haz , between a meow and a yelp): No! Keep going! Now that’s what I call a good show! Come on the dog! Catch that cat!

Suddenly, two guys dressed in white jump on the stage. Each of them catches one of the presenters and put strait-jackets on them. A third guy dressed in white gets to the microphone.

3rd guy dressed in white: It’s okay everyone. These guys have escaped from the psychiatric hospital of Varetta a few days ago. Your lifes are now safe. Have a nice evening.

The man walks off the stage along with his patients. But then, we hear voices coming from the backstage.

BC: Go back on the stage right now!
3rd guy: But... my job is done!
BC: And I say that you still need to do one thing! Hand out the trophy and I’ll let you go... or otherwise you will wish that I was wearing a strait-jacket!
3rd guy: Errr... okay, okay...

The guy comes back on the stage.

3rd guy: Errr... The Tyrenis Memorial Award for good will is going to be awarded to a member that keeps a close eye on a lot of things in this community. Some people might not always agree with him, but we all know that it is done because he cares for the success of the Tower of the Sun. So... errr... please, congratulate the winner of the Tyrenis Memorial Award, Ghostbear!

Applause

***

2014 comment: Tyrenis was a character that asked me to award a prize in his name during the CAThy Awards, hence the name of this prize. As for the presenters, remember that Zipp (member of the Cat Clan and a Sage of Lyris), Cloe (member of the Wolf Clan) and Hazelea (Kai Hunter) were all different avatars used by one single person? Well, Tyrenis (Sage of Lyris), North Star (Kai Lord) and Argravyn (Kai Hunter) were also different avatars of one single person. So it gave this weird multiple personality disorder drama. It might not be easy to understand right now, but back in the days, people knew at first glance who each guy was.

[Black Cat]

After the speech of Ghost Bear, Black Cat announces that he and Shadow Crow have created a group of bards called SC/BC and that they want to play one of their songs: "Highway to Teph". After the musical interpretation, that no doubt will become a classic, the ceremony resumes.

BC: Wow, did you liked that, people? Well, you can now bring this song home with a new creation, the chanting disc, or CD. This magical stone reacts to light and will sing our song as long as you wish! You can buy a CD (and the box that goes with) at the entrance of the Halls. Thank you... And now, for the last award of the evening, I would like every presenters to join me on the stage.

The crowd applauses while all the presenters of the evening comes on the stage.

BC: Well, for the last award (sweeps the mud in his face that came from the two battling girlfriends of Hawkeye), it makes sense that every presenters have to present that prize with me (Winterhawk! Come back on the stage and stop beheading people selling my CD: they are not spammers!). The last award of the night goes to the Member of the Year at the Tower of the Sun (Gives a punch to both Orson and Malphis who were working on a new way to fix the results of the CAThy Awards). That member deserves it well (Zipp! Stop watching the Slavemaster getting whacked by the dinosaur!); he litterally created this place and he keeps an eye on it (Stop fighting yourselves, dude #1 and dude #2!) even if he is currently away because of real life issues (Pushes Simey away who ways rubbing himself on him). This is with great pleasure...

A dark cloud comes over the stage.

Naar: You don't say.
BC: Didn't I kicked you out of here a few awards ago?
N: I don't think that's possible.
BC: And me, I say it is!
N: YOU? How do people usually respond to that?

Black Cat takes out a vaccuum and sucks the dark cloud with it.

BC: Good riddance... Now, as I was about to say (Hey, the two beavers: stop watching porn on your low-quality cell phones!) the winner for the CAThy of the Member of the Year goes to... Jaqmin!

Applause

BC: Toothillman! Stop shooting in the air: Lone Wolf just lost consciousness! Shoot John Grant instead!

***

2014 comment: Winterhawk was the name of the character of the creator of TotS. However, in the months preceding the CAThy Awards, he created a new character, Jaqmin, that replaced his previous one. The presentation of the prize here was written to recap all the different things that had happened during the ceremony.

[Black Cat]

After the last speech, Black Cat walks again on the stage.

BC: Well, that’s it everyone. That was the Night of the CAThy Awards for this year. I hope that you have enjoyed it. But before we go, I would like to present some Honorable Mentions to some members: Rising Phoenix, for coming out of nowhere and accepting to work on the Rising Sun; FallingPhoenix, for playing as a great evil character in the West Watch; Raker and Nighthunter, for always trying to help the others; Agrarvyn, for your comments that are made either to make us think, laugh or teach us something; Orson, for reminding us every week to buy a ticket for the Lottery; and finally Hawkeye and Al, for trying to help the newbies. All of them will receive a small donation from me.

Well, this is it folks. The fun will keep on going at the open-castle party at the Royal Castle of King Kian. For those watching us on TV, don’t forget to watch "Survivor: Danarg" next week on PlayCat Channel. Goodnight everyone! And for those going to the Royal Castle, I’ll see you there!

Black Cat walks off the stage as the end credits roll.

THE END...?


***

2014 comment: Even if the characters mentionned there didn't win an Award, I gave them a 100,000 g¢ present of an Honorable Mention for what they did on TotS over the year. For those not knowing it, the "Rising Sun" was a fanzine that was first created in 1999 by the fan site www.magnamund.org which you can still access. The first 7 issues were published by them before TotS took over for the next 12 editions. I took over as the editor for the last 3 or 4 issues, I don't remember. You can download them here.As the last sentence shows, the CAThy Awards were not over yet...

[Black Cat]

At the Royal castle

Most of the people in the crowd are having fun: Theelor and Ron are text messaging each other although they stand beside each other; Toothillman keeps shooting in the air, making many Giak to fall from the rafters; Balgin is still throwing up in the bowl of punch; Nahuris gets strucked by yet another lightning; John Grant follows Slim... errr... Simey all around the place, even in the bathroom; the ostrish that has followed Hawk Eye earlier in the evening is now drinking directly from a keg of Bor Brew; and finally Dharn is still running around the castle, trying to escape the guards. Black Cat thinks that it is the right moment: he grabs the microphone and starts to speak.

BC: Can I have your attention please?

The crowd keeps on talking.

BC: Ahem! Your attention please!

The crowd keeps on talking.

BC: SHUT UP!

The crowd keeps on talking.

BC: Free Bor Brew to everyone that will listen to me!

The crowd shuts up and looks at Black Cat.

BC: Thanks! And now, for a special presentation, I would like to invite the oldest participant to this party to come and join me, Lord Gyto!

Applause

Gyto: Yes, is it my turn yet?
BC: Your turn for what?
G: It’s not? Oh well... I don’t really like this hospital: too much light. It burns by old eyes.
BC: You are not in a hospital: you are a the Royal Castle of Sommerlund and I want you to make a special presentation. Remember what we have discussed earlier?
G: No, no, that’s fine. I’ll go take a walk.
BC: DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE HAVE DISCUSSED EARLIER?
G: Oh, it’s you Black Cat? Yes, yes, I remember.
BC: THEN GO ON!
G: What? Can you talk louder? I have one ear that has a slight difficulty to hear things.

Black Cat writes something on a parchment and hands it to Gyto.

G: Oh, yes. I’m here for my annual check up. But, don’t you think it is time for me to make the announcement?

Black Cat just shakes his head in agreement, but he is clearly loosing his temper. However, he hands the microphone to Gyto who takes it.

G: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Black Cat pulls the microphone from Gyto’s ear and shows him how to use it.

G: Oh, I’ll have to repeat everything that I have just said. Well... I... hate... Black Cat. You... all... suck. I’m... the... worst... loser...

Black Cat shows Gyto that he has to stop moving his hands while speaking, especially the one holding the microphone, as people are losing what he is saying.

G: Oh, right... As I was saying, I think that everyone here hate to lose but you are all winners for Black Cat. You have all participated in the ceremony, and he thanks you all for that because, without people like you, these ceremonies suck. I’m glad to say that Black Cat has witnessed the best (and the worst!) of your characters tonight, so that’s why he doesn’t consider you as losers. For this reason, he has added a special prize. The winner of the Award of Participation for tonight’s ceremony goes to... (blank!)

Applause

***

2014 comment: Oops, there was a blank space at the end of what Gyto (a character that I think was a NPC from the West Watch) says. I probably wrote the post way before the end of the CAThy Awards and thought that I would fill in the blank space only when it would be published on the forum. Sorry, I don't remember who got the award. It doesn't shows here on these forums, but when the CAThy Awards were originally posted, people had time to post their comments and the actions of their character(s) at the ceremony. You can see a reference at the beginning of the post of what Dharn, a thief, was trying to do during the ceremony. These comments by other people are what made the thread so special and fun for me. That's why I wanted to reward somebody at the end of the show with this special Award of Participation. And the night was not over yet...

[Black Cat]

The party resumes. Black Cat is now making his way out of the castle, using his Invisibility skills. However, he stumbles over Balgin, lying on the floor, plundged in an ethylic coma. Falling Phoenix sees Black Cat getting up, and walks to him.

Falling Phoenix: Hey, you promised us Bor Brew if we listened to you. We’ve listened, and now we want our Brew!
Agrarvyn: Yeah! Where’s the Brew?
Shadow Crow: Come on boss: give us the Brew!
Night Hunter: I’m thirsty!
Ostrich: BEHR-BEHR!
BC: Ahem... the Brew... yeah... errr... Ask Al over there. He’ll give you your free Bor Brew...

The guys are now surrounding Al, and Black Cat takes this moment to escape from the castle. He tries to find his horse in the parking lot, but he discovers that somebody has stolen it, even if there was an alarm system on it! Mad, he decides to also steal a ride, so he climbs on Nahuris’ skyrider.

Girls: Hey, who are you?
BC: Hem... I’m the Grand Master of the Kai Order. The Guildmaster said it was okay for me to use his sky ship to go back to the Monastery.
Girls: Did he say anything else?
BC: Well... yes! He said that I could also show you the... Quaterstaff that I have in my pants. I know how to handle that weapon! *Wink-wink*

When Black Cat recovers, he sees that he is still in the parking lot: he has been kicked out of Nahuris’ skyrider by the guards as soon as he had made the reference to his... errr... Quaterstaff in his pants... With no other choice, he decides to steal Slavemaster’s Lajakeka.

BC: Cool ride! It’s so easy to drive! And I’m so high on the road... Huh? What’s that button? N-I-T-R-O... What the...? There’s only one way to find out...

As Black Cat pushes the button, the Lajakeka’s engines roars and pushes the vehicule forward. But now, it is going so fast that Black Cat loses the handling and crashes into the Hall of Fun. When he gets out of the wreckage, the manager of the Halls is waiting for him.

Manager: Ha, mister Black Cat! Glad to see you! I was hoping that you would come back to pay the bill.
BC: The bill? Oh yes, for renting the Hall.
M: Well, yes, but also to pay for the damage your guests have done. Here’s the amount you owe me.

Handles the bill.

BC: WHAT!?! But I already gave away all my cash tonight! How am I supposed to repay you?
M: Well, then, I could sue you, which would cost you more than what you are currently owing me... Or you could always fix the things yourself.
BC: Okay, fine, I’ll fix the things... Show me the damage...
M: Follow me...

Black Cat follows the manager on the stage. The manager finally points at the whole room.

M: There are holes in the ceiling, graffitis on the walls, broken chairs and tables, vomit all over the place, Giak meat on the floor, dried mud on the stage, pegasus dung on the red carpet, a half-eaten human corpse over there, a dead guy fixed to his chair with an arrow, craters in the parking lot, a few shattered windows, Bor Brew spilled all over the bar, drenched tableclooths, a putrid stain between these two tables, and a Lajakeka parked in my office.
BC: *Sigh*
M: (leaving the stage) Oh, and there are a few toilets that are clogged. Good luck with the mess. I’ll come back tomorrow morning to see if you are done...

Truly, this was a night to remember for Black Cat...

***

2014 comment: This was a post to conclude correctly event. Nahuris was the Guildmaster of the Order of the Crystal Star and had his own skyrider which, he claimed, was manned by a female-only crew. As for the reference to all the damage at the Hall of Fun, this was a way to acknowledge what the other members had posted during the CAThy Awards.

And this was the end of the 2nd Night of the CAThy Award. I'm sad that I couldn't find the text of the first and third one and that all the interactions posted by other members are missing. But I hope that reading this will give you an idea of how active the original TotS community was. As for the older members, I hope that was fun for you to rediscover a part of the old forum.