Post by zipp on Aug 7, 2008 2:07:56 GMT -5
First of all, my apologies for up and dissapearing with no explanation. I consider you all to be good friends, and you deserve to know of my whereabouts and well being.
Probably the simplest way to put it is that there have been drastic changes in my life this year that have forced me to change my lifestyle.
First of all, you all know that I broke up with Shannon. While neccesary, such a break up certainly wasn't easy, considering we lived as a married couple for five years. It's also forced me to confront some of the darker aspects of our relationship, which in turn forces me to confront the darker aspects of who I was during the relationship and how I have both changed and remained the same since then. Of course, I also see Shannon nearly every day at my work, which can be difficult. Through in the fact that she's not particularly kind to me, and already has another boyfriend, and there's some pain going on.
Secondly, I now work two jobs, which leaves me with the occasional ten hour shift. While I enjoy said jobs, it leaves me with little downtime.
And that downtime is further taken up with the film company, now called "On Pluto Productions." The Noir Project (now called "The Lost"), is shaping up to be a quality indpendant film and is making its way to theatres and DVD sometime between October and November. I'm not sure if American DVDs will play on European players, but I'd like to find some way to get you guys copies. Of course I'm wildly excited for the premier and through word of mouth it sounds like it will be a full house for the days that it shows.
Of course, we also have several other films in the works, one of which is my own script entitled "The Final Confession of Hugh Mann" which I would love for anyone to read for comments. Let me know if you have time. Email me at shannathyn@gmail.com
I'm also working when I can on a fantasy novel, incorporating elements of all the fiction I've written over the past ten years or so. It's a slow process, and I toss more than I keep, but slowly it's building up.
In addition to all this, my roomate situation is less than perfect. While I love my roomate, he is slowly disentegrating into a cynical and spiteful person due to his own relationship with another friend of mine, who has proven to be extremely controlling to the point of dictating what he can eat and drink and when, and who he can see. Fortunately, they don't spend a lot of time at my apartment, especially since I got rid of my Wii and took to wandering around half naked.
Finally, I have been dealing with a strange health problem since April, which has caused mild to severe skin irritation on my groin with, as yet, no named cause. All treatment has thus far aggravated the symptoms, and my doctors (four specialists on the job) now are debating whether or not it is psychosymatic. In easier terms, this means that they think it may be an emotional or psychological disease in which I percieve the pain as a result of stress (breaking up, graduating, two jobs, questionable roomate situation, starting a company, writing a novel) or as a way of psychologically punishing myself for being me. Maerin, if you're there, this is what inspired the Tinea character, who has made his way into the novel.
Because the condition is affecting my groin, I often feel embarrased and debilitated by it. Of course, it also makes my search for a new girlfriend that much harder. While she wouldn't be able to see anything (there is no visible sign of the disease), it does make me less comfortable in my wooing and sexual skills.
On top of that, there is the daily psychological battle to deal with the pain and irritation, which at times exhausts me to the point of suicidal depression and at other times causes me to take up strange habits, such as the enjoyment of pain. The upside is that I'm experiencing a wonderfully dark side of myself that had opened all new doors of creativity to be used in my writing and personal philosophy.
Despite all this, I remain bizzarrely chipper and energetic, and while I'm sure the above paragraph comes off as alarming, be well assured that I have friends and family around to help me, and I am putting myself in counseling to ensure my mental well being. Know that I am ultimately a strong person with far too much good humour to truly descend into madness, though I do like to dabble in it now and again. Of course, the fact that I work a lot keeps me from stewing over much on things. And if nothing else, I would certainly not give up the ghost until I played Fallout 3 and Dead Space.
Yes, I indeed remain a video game fan, and amazingly find time still to play. As said earlier, I did end up selling my Wii. I became dissillusioned with its lack of immersive games, despite its easy-in due to its supposedly immersive controls. I've been enjoying the PS3 far more, though I didn't like MGS4 and am saddened to hear that FFXIII is no longer exclussive. In October I really get my kicks, as Fallout 3 and Dead Space both come out. I also now write exclussive reviews for Honest Gamer, and am hoping to be the first to review these games for the site.
In the meantime I've been playing the FF4 remake for the DS, and it's been a wonderfully nostalgic experience for me. FF4 was the game that first taught me just how immersive gaming could be. It was the first game that I remember feeling resentment at having to put down in order to go to school. It was the first game I daydreamed about. It was the first game I wrote fan fiction for. After all these years, it's still impressive, I still daydream about it, I still resent putting it down to go to work... and Rydia is still my goddess.
In the Lone Wolf world I remain sadly estranged from the new series. With PS3 games costing $60 a pop, I am pressed for cash to spend on other hobbies. I am working on getting my library to order the books, but they keep confusing them with the manga (Lone Wolf and Cub). My frustration at not being able to order the Mega deal anymore have led to a sort of giving up of the series, though it retains a strong place in my heart and remains influential on my current work in fantasy. And of course, the characters I interacted with and created here at Tower of the Sun haven't died, nor has my friendship with you fine people.
I must again apologize for my lack of participation in the site. Between everything I've been dealing with and my estrangement from the world of Lone Wolf, it's been difficult for me to continue my past levels of participation. For the moment I simply think I've said everything I can on the subject of Lone Wolf. At the same time, you should all know that not a day goes by that I don't think of the community, and the site is still my home page. While my interest in Lone Wolf may have waned somewhat, my deep level of caring and respect for all the people I know through the site has never been closer to my heart.
You are all fine individuals, and I've rarely had more pleasure than I did in providing you all with stories and tournaments. I am sad to say that for a while, at least, I won't be able to continue to service, though I will remain around and try to be more involved than I have been recently.
Yours always,
Zipp
Probably the simplest way to put it is that there have been drastic changes in my life this year that have forced me to change my lifestyle.
First of all, you all know that I broke up with Shannon. While neccesary, such a break up certainly wasn't easy, considering we lived as a married couple for five years. It's also forced me to confront some of the darker aspects of our relationship, which in turn forces me to confront the darker aspects of who I was during the relationship and how I have both changed and remained the same since then. Of course, I also see Shannon nearly every day at my work, which can be difficult. Through in the fact that she's not particularly kind to me, and already has another boyfriend, and there's some pain going on.
Secondly, I now work two jobs, which leaves me with the occasional ten hour shift. While I enjoy said jobs, it leaves me with little downtime.
And that downtime is further taken up with the film company, now called "On Pluto Productions." The Noir Project (now called "The Lost"), is shaping up to be a quality indpendant film and is making its way to theatres and DVD sometime between October and November. I'm not sure if American DVDs will play on European players, but I'd like to find some way to get you guys copies. Of course I'm wildly excited for the premier and through word of mouth it sounds like it will be a full house for the days that it shows.
Of course, we also have several other films in the works, one of which is my own script entitled "The Final Confession of Hugh Mann" which I would love for anyone to read for comments. Let me know if you have time. Email me at shannathyn@gmail.com
I'm also working when I can on a fantasy novel, incorporating elements of all the fiction I've written over the past ten years or so. It's a slow process, and I toss more than I keep, but slowly it's building up.
In addition to all this, my roomate situation is less than perfect. While I love my roomate, he is slowly disentegrating into a cynical and spiteful person due to his own relationship with another friend of mine, who has proven to be extremely controlling to the point of dictating what he can eat and drink and when, and who he can see. Fortunately, they don't spend a lot of time at my apartment, especially since I got rid of my Wii and took to wandering around half naked.
Finally, I have been dealing with a strange health problem since April, which has caused mild to severe skin irritation on my groin with, as yet, no named cause. All treatment has thus far aggravated the symptoms, and my doctors (four specialists on the job) now are debating whether or not it is psychosymatic. In easier terms, this means that they think it may be an emotional or psychological disease in which I percieve the pain as a result of stress (breaking up, graduating, two jobs, questionable roomate situation, starting a company, writing a novel) or as a way of psychologically punishing myself for being me. Maerin, if you're there, this is what inspired the Tinea character, who has made his way into the novel.
Because the condition is affecting my groin, I often feel embarrased and debilitated by it. Of course, it also makes my search for a new girlfriend that much harder. While she wouldn't be able to see anything (there is no visible sign of the disease), it does make me less comfortable in my wooing and sexual skills.
On top of that, there is the daily psychological battle to deal with the pain and irritation, which at times exhausts me to the point of suicidal depression and at other times causes me to take up strange habits, such as the enjoyment of pain. The upside is that I'm experiencing a wonderfully dark side of myself that had opened all new doors of creativity to be used in my writing and personal philosophy.
Despite all this, I remain bizzarrely chipper and energetic, and while I'm sure the above paragraph comes off as alarming, be well assured that I have friends and family around to help me, and I am putting myself in counseling to ensure my mental well being. Know that I am ultimately a strong person with far too much good humour to truly descend into madness, though I do like to dabble in it now and again. Of course, the fact that I work a lot keeps me from stewing over much on things. And if nothing else, I would certainly not give up the ghost until I played Fallout 3 and Dead Space.
Yes, I indeed remain a video game fan, and amazingly find time still to play. As said earlier, I did end up selling my Wii. I became dissillusioned with its lack of immersive games, despite its easy-in due to its supposedly immersive controls. I've been enjoying the PS3 far more, though I didn't like MGS4 and am saddened to hear that FFXIII is no longer exclussive. In October I really get my kicks, as Fallout 3 and Dead Space both come out. I also now write exclussive reviews for Honest Gamer, and am hoping to be the first to review these games for the site.
In the meantime I've been playing the FF4 remake for the DS, and it's been a wonderfully nostalgic experience for me. FF4 was the game that first taught me just how immersive gaming could be. It was the first game that I remember feeling resentment at having to put down in order to go to school. It was the first game I daydreamed about. It was the first game I wrote fan fiction for. After all these years, it's still impressive, I still daydream about it, I still resent putting it down to go to work... and Rydia is still my goddess.
In the Lone Wolf world I remain sadly estranged from the new series. With PS3 games costing $60 a pop, I am pressed for cash to spend on other hobbies. I am working on getting my library to order the books, but they keep confusing them with the manga (Lone Wolf and Cub). My frustration at not being able to order the Mega deal anymore have led to a sort of giving up of the series, though it retains a strong place in my heart and remains influential on my current work in fantasy. And of course, the characters I interacted with and created here at Tower of the Sun haven't died, nor has my friendship with you fine people.
I must again apologize for my lack of participation in the site. Between everything I've been dealing with and my estrangement from the world of Lone Wolf, it's been difficult for me to continue my past levels of participation. For the moment I simply think I've said everything I can on the subject of Lone Wolf. At the same time, you should all know that not a day goes by that I don't think of the community, and the site is still my home page. While my interest in Lone Wolf may have waned somewhat, my deep level of caring and respect for all the people I know through the site has never been closer to my heart.
You are all fine individuals, and I've rarely had more pleasure than I did in providing you all with stories and tournaments. I am sad to say that for a while, at least, I won't be able to continue to service, though I will remain around and try to be more involved than I have been recently.
Yours always,
Zipp